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Unfortunately, the answer is never cut and dry and will be different for each person’s unique circumstances. I have heard the book “Being Mortal” by Atul Gawande has been a useful resource in making these intensely difficult decisions for many people in similar shoes.
Talking with her primary care doctor about the risks related to sharing this news with her may also be a helpful starting place. If the stress of this information would cause undue hardship for both her and yourself, it may be best not to share. Best of luck and lots of love.