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Hi Lynn,
Not an easy thing to do, deciding for someone with major decision like this. All you can do is let your heart guide you. There is no right or wrong answer. So if you can take clues from this persons life, their discussions and make the best choice you can. This situation ultimately depends on the stage of dementia and what the next steps for treatment are. If she is early stage and you will be seeking treatments, then it may be easier for her to be told to understand why there are increased appointments and different side effects. If she is at a more moderate stage in the disease and you feel this will significantly upset her and you are not pursuing aggressive treatments then it may be best to not disclose for the preservation of peace. Sending lots of love.
