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I think this is a very individual issue on many levels. If you feel there is a way to explain it to mom without it upsetting her for the long term, then you may want to tell her. However, if it will really have a negative affect and she is unable to understand the situation, then holding off from telling her may be the best thing. You need to also think of yourself and make sure that not telling her is not something that will haunt you for years to come. Speaking with a behavioral therapist could be very helpful to you to help cope with the issues of guilt (if not telling her) or the stress of the entire situation.