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  • Family not sharing the load

    Posted by tmasseli on June 19, 2020 at 4:55 pm

    I am at the point of feeling like I am about to lose my mind. I feel totally alone and my siblings are not offering much actual help. They are very quick to offer advice and tell me what we should be doing, but then it all falls on me to actually take action and get things done. I do not want to ruin my relationship with my family but I can feel the resentment building. If we all pitched in and did an equal amount, I think we could pull this off, but it is really me doing most of the work,

    Fred replied 1 year, 2 months ago 2 Members · 1 Reply
  • 1 Reply
  • Fred

    Administrator
    December 16, 2022 at 2:04 pm

    Theresa, it seems as though the 80/20 rule applies when it comes to caregiving for a person with dementia. One person generally does around 80% of the work while the rest of the family provides the remaining 20%. It seems as though you are experiencing another very common problem where those same family members freely offer their opinion and making suggestions. I find that open, honest communication really works best with you expressing how you are feeling. Here are a few other suggestions:
    1) Find a support group where you can openly talk and express your feelings as well as receive some support.
    2) Consider hiring a dementia coach or geriatric care manager who can offer advice/support and also act as a mediator for the family
    3) Consider bringing in additional help. This can be professional caregivers from an agency, volunteers or friends and neighbors.
    4) Don’t be afraid to ask for help from family and friends.